This post is part of my series on How to Shape Children’s Behavior.
“Say sorry to your brother.”
“But he’s the one who–”
“Say it!” you insist, an edge of warning in your voice.
He huffs, rolls his eyes to the side and says flatly, “Sorry.”
“Say it like you mean it,” you demand.
“Sorrrrry,” he repeats, dragging out the word slowly with bulging eyes and dripping insincerity.
You sigh in defeat and turn to #2, “Now tell him you forgive him.”
“But he doesn’t even mean it!”
“Just say it!”
“iforgiveyou…” he mutters, looking down to the side dejectedly.
“Now be nice to each other.”
Harumphy silence.
This scenario might sound all too familiar– if not from your experiences as a parent, then at least your own experiences as a child. It’s easy to see how it isn’t always that effective. You, the teacher/parent/authority, probably benefit from it the most because now at least you can feel like you did something about it, allowing you to close the case. Problem solved… now stop bickering. You know inside, however, that the offended still feels bitter, because the apology was not sincere. And while it may seem like the offender got off easy– not even having to show proper remorse or use a sincere tone–he is actually the one who loses out the most. He not only learns a poor lesson that he can get away with lies and empty words, but does not have the opportunity to experience true reconciliation and restoration of relationships. He will probably continue inflicting similar offenses, feel less remorse than he should, and undergo less positive character change than he could have.
But what alternative do you have? What else are you supposed to do? It’s not like you can force a genuine apology and repentant heart out of him, right?
Actually, you can. It’s not 100%, but it’s a lot more % than the scenario you read above.
You’ve probably seen wine charms
I still remember the first time. I was a college student. We were at Crepevine in Berkeley, and I probably should have gotten something off the savory menu. It was, after all, dinner time. But I couldn’t resist, and instead I selected The Jamaican: Bananas in Caramel Rum Sauce.
I was intrigued. Caramel? Rum? Bananas? What on earth would that taste like? Soon, I found out.
It was spectacular. I had never really had cooked bananas before this, but cooking them in a buttery caramel sauce was definitely the way to go. I wasn’t sure if that addictive flavor was the caramelized banana, the buttery browned caramel, or maybe… the rum? It didn’t matter. When you melded them together and then topped it on smooth, vanilla bean ice cream and a touch of whipped cream, it was magic. My taste buds swooned over the new notes of delicious, and I felt like Remy in Ratatouille as he explained the beauty of food to his brother in the alleyway, fireworks and all. Mmmm.
So of course, the next step was to make it. It wasn’t very hard, actually. There was obviously butter, sugar, rum, and bananas in it. I’d figure out the rest.
…Turns out, that’s all it took. Four ingredients = an explosion of happy in my mouth.
Growing up, mall food was a thing of luxury to me. You know, Chinese parents. In the same way that going to the movies meant enjoying buttery popcorn by smell, I could only enjoy the flavors of Cinnabon and Mrs. Field’s Cookies through their intoxicating scents, inhaling deeply the way I imagine Charlie did when walking past Mr. Wonka’s gates. Looking back, I’m glad my parents didn’t spoil me by buying me whatever I wanted. But I’m equally glad I can spoil myself by making whatever I want, now.
Several years ago, Ben and I plotted to visit the local mall to get a special Cinnabon-y treat. For some reason, it had come to mind and we were both craving it. When we arrived, mouths watering and splurge-ready (I’m pretty sure mall food will feel like a splurge for the rest of my life), we were distraught to find that it had closed right before we arrived! Noooooo!!!!
On the way home, disappointed and hungry for sweets, I decided we could just make it ourselves. I looked it up and found a promising recipe– “Clone of a Cinnabon” on allrecipes.com. Unfortunately, the instructions required a breadmaker. There’s probably an easy workaround, but I’m no bread master, so I had to study the comments to figure it out. Here is the resulting recipe after reading dozens of comments and reviews! I also increased the proportion of filling and icing. Noms. It breaks my 8-ingredient preference (although you should have most of the pantry items already), but trust me– it’s worth it. So deliciously worth it!
The ooey gooey cinnamony and buttery brown sugar filling screams comfort food, and the cream cheese icing is just a melty glob of lip-smacking yum! I add a splash of lemon juice to my frosting to give it a little zing. Most people can’t tell what it is, but it gives it that extra something that makes it really finger-licking delicious! My favorite is the very middle, where you have the highest ratio of sweet filling to bread, and can wipe up all the extra frosting into one marvelous final bite. Sigh.
You can make these the night before and refrigerate them, then pop them into the oven the next morning. You can also freeze them and thaw them in the refrigerator the night before you plan to make them, so it’s a great make-ahead treat as well!
There are few things better than waking up to the warm scent of brown sugar, butter and cinnamon wafting through your room! It’s a perfect way to wake your loved ones on a Saturday morning, and also reheats wonderfully in the microwave for a midnight snack!
We all have it. That disorganized drawer stuffed full of user manuals and instruction booklets.
You buy a new toaster oven, glance through the user manual, then tug open that heavy drawer and squeeeeze it into the bulging pile and hope the drawer closes… just one more time. Yup. I know exactly where that drawer is in my parents’ house, where it was in our previous home, and where it was in this house. Because I avoided that drawer. Is this pot dishwasher-safe? Hmm… probably says so in the manual, but…. eh. I don’t want to look for it. Or maybe you just broke your very expensive blender and are desperate to know how long the warranty is. Already flustered and very nervous (hubby will NOT be pleased to know you broke the machine after 7 years and 1 month, especially if the warranty was for 7 years (which it was… go figure)), you sift through piles and piles of manuals only to realize it’s. not. there. BUT WAIT maybe you missed it, let’s try again! Your frustration increases as your pile somehow looks twice as big as it started. Where is that thing?!
Wouldn’t it be nice if you had your manuals, instruction booklets, random back-of-the-packaging-with-important-instructions, DVDs and other relevant items all lumped in one place, ready to turn to whenever you need?
Early this morning, I came across a recipe for pancakes that had just three ingredients: banana, oats, and eggs. Whaaaaaaaaatttt you can do that?! Make pancakes with just bananas, oats, and eggs?! Noooo wayyy!!
I have always loved quiches, and I don’t know what took me so long to make one. I guess I frequently see my pie and tart pans as vehicles for dessert, so quiches didn’t really come to mind until more recently, when we had a lovely brunch with the girls. One of the ladies brought a quiche, and I was enamored. After that, it still took me a while to re-remember that I wanted to make a quiche, but a frozen bag of kale from Trader Joe’s did the trick. Isn’t kale supposed to be a superfood? I had never cooked with it, but I had a kale salad once at Whole Foods that I wasn’t too crazy about. Well, nothing can taste too bad if it’s buried under a pile of cheese, cream, bacon, and eggs, right? Then again, there’s probably no food healthy enough to make up for all that junk too… but hey, this is no health blog. It’s goodeats. Consume at your own risk!
How to Use Medela Pump In Style Advanced Breast Pumps
If you are planning to breastfeed your baby, you will probably get a breast pump at some point. Not only is it nice for Mom to have some more flexibility and freedom, but it gives Dad and your baby a great opportunity to bond. This is a tutorial for mothers with a Medela Pump In Style Advanced double electric breast pump (tote, backpack, or metro bag).
So you finally opened up the breast pump, washed and sterilized all the parts, and have produced a magical bottle of “liquid gold” that is now sitting in your fridge. GOOD JOB! That first bottle is such an accomplishment, isn’t it? Even though I had been nursing for weeks, I still remember growing wide-eyed with wonder as I watched actual milk come out of me the first time I pumped. Sure, I felt like a cow, but I also felt amazed that I was actually producing life-giving, drinkable, white milk. Weird.
Look at that skin. Just look at it.
It is as crackly-salty-tasty as it looks. And the vegetables…oh, the vegetables. As juicy and tender as the chicken comes out, sometimes I find myself looking forward to the veggies even more than the meat! There is nothing better on a winter night than this juicy, whole-roasted chicken with salty, crackly skin on a bed of root vegetables sopping with chicken juice.
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