Hello Readers! It is my pleasure to introduce my friend Rosalie Yu, a good friend and fellow educator! Rosalie worked at a childcare center for multiple years, then taught 4th-6th grade before moving on to her Project Specialist role that has turned into her current Curriculum Support Specialist position, where she spends a lot of time coaching teachers. She absolutely loves organizing closets/styling wardrobes, photography, and cooking, and also tries to host a meal for a friend at least once a week in her home! You can see more of her work here at www.blushingroseinc.com.
I have always appreciated and admired Rosalie’s heart to love, serve, and mentor others. It’s been wonderful to see her grow as a wife and mother, and to see how she is applying her skills as an educator to her parenting. She has an amazing eye for beauty, which shows in her photography, home design, fashion, and most of all her appreciation for people. I’ve learned a lot from her over the years, and I am so glad she can share some of her wisdom with us today!
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Celebrating Every Win
A guest post by Rosalie Yu
I’ve known JoEllen since we met at church camp back in high school, but little did we know how our paths would cross time and time again after that. Years later, we found ourselves in the same teaching program when we were pursuing our teaching credential; with her being one cohort ahead of me she always provided sound advice and encouragement. She made things sound less daunting and always gave practical tips. Clearly, her blog has extended her helpful reach to many others. In fact, one of the most memorable things JoEllen did for me was send me a care package during my first week as a teacher. I have never forgotten that gesture of kindness and how meaningful it was. We both ended up marrying gentlemen from the camp we met years ago and went from teaching to becoming wives and mothers. It’s an honor to have been asked to write a guest piece for her blog. In the meantime, I’ll be sharing an important lesson I’ve learned over the years that has worked for my 20-month-old son.
I started working with kids in middle school. I knew I wanted to become a teacher since I was five and in all my years of working with children, I have learned many important lessons, with one that stands out the most. When asked by others what piece of advice I could give to a new teacher or a new mom, I would say it’s to celebrate every win.
We all encounter students, people we’re coaching, teammates, and children who haven’t mastered their craft. It could really be anything, even as simple as learning to cook scrambled eggs for the first time. There are many techniques to everything we’ve learned to do in life, but the thing that I’ve seen over and over as a determining factor in achieving success is the importance of building self-efficacy. We all know that “practice makes perfect” yet the journey to perfection is just as influential in the end result. Teaching children to root for themselves begins with us rooting for them.
Hello Readers! This week, I have a special guest post for you from Ann-Marie, a dear friend and co-worker at the school where I used to work! This all started when I went back to the school to visit with my daughter one morning, and happily bumped into her in the hallway. After catching up a bit, she began sharing passionately about her observations and some frustrations she’d encountered with students who were consumed with technology. I found it fascinating, and asked her to write more about it to share with you, readers! ~JoEllen
How Has Technology Affected Children at School? A Teacher’s Perspective
A Guest post by Ann-Marie
I have been teaching kindergarten for a little over ten years now. I’d give you a specific number, but you start to lose count after a while. I don’t know if I’d call myself a veteran, but I’ve been around the block for quite some time now. A few months back I was asked to write this guest blog post and here I am. Have I ever done anything like this? No. By any means would I call myself an expert? No. Am I parent? No. But I am a woman who has spent a lifetime around children. I babysat, I nannied infant twins for 2 years in college and am a proud “auntie” of two beautiful young ladies in middle and high school. I only tell you this so you know that I know children.
How technology addiction manifested itself at school
The first time I really noticed anything was about five years ago. For the first time in my teaching career I had a new crop of kids that didn’t seem to have the ability to discuss books. Granted I have traditionally taught in schools with a high percentage of English language learners (aka “English as a Second Language”), but it wasn’t just the non-English speakers having difficulty. I would read a book like Goldilocks and the Three Bears and ask questions like, “How do you think baby bear is feeling when his food is gone…when his chair is broken? How do you think Goldilocks feels when she wakes up?” Questions I had asked over and over again for years, but something was different. Instead of a room full of five year olds eagerly raising their hands or shouting out answers, they mostly just sat there. A handful of children wanted to answer, but for the most part I received blank stares. It was the beginning of the school year. I thought…they could be shy…they could be nervous. I came up with a whole host of reasons why this was happening. As I got to know my class in the next month or two and during parent conferences, a common thread appeared: electronics. At the time it was mostly video games and TV.
I had the pleasure of working with Rachel for several years at the same school. Although she taught fifth grade and I was in fourth, I learned a lot from her (including line tag!) and frequently went to her for teaching ideas and advice. As a teacher, I appreciated how she was always meticulous and thoughtful about everything. She did everything with purpose and integrity. As friends, we bonded over our shared love of iced coffee and I especially loved how she was always so unapologetically true to her personal convictions and beliefs.
She is one of the most intentional parents I know, and is often one of the first people I think of when I find myself in a parenting jam. She’s a few years ahead of me on this parenting gig, and when I face mommy problems (“Someone is bullying my child!” or “My child is so clingy I can’t even cook dinner!”) I trust that she will have a well thought-out response to my dilemma. Given my respect for her as both a teacher and a mother, I am delighted that she agreed to write this post on “How Teaching Has Impacted My Parenting.” I know I picked up some great ideas from it, and I’m sure you will, too! -JoEllen
How Teaching Has Influenced My Parenting
A guest post by Rachel K.
Before I became a mom, I was a teacher. And the desire to teach my children and to set them up for success was there even before they officially made their entrance in to this world. I swear I purchased Hooked on Phonics even before my first son was born. And I remember crying (on more than one occasion) because I became overwhelmed just thinking about all of the things I was responsible for teaching them. However, as the weeks stretched into months and the months into years, I began to settle in to routines and put to use best practices from my own classroom. Yes. You read that right. Just like my life experiences shaped who I was (and how I was) as an educator, my life in the classroom helped to make me in to a better mom.
When I consider what to post on my blog, I am always thinking of you, my readers. Though I post on a variety of topics, I think most of you are here for the education-related ones. So I ask myself several questions:
- What unique perspective can I offer as a (former) teacher?
- If I were a parent in a non-education field, what are things I could benefit from hearing from someone who was immersed in elementary education?
- What are some things I learned as a teacher that I will apply as a parent?
I had always wanted to be a stay at home mom (SAHM), and purposely chose a career before that stage in life that would help me do an even better job of SAHM-ing. Teaching seemed like the natural choice, since I would gain experience working with, shaping, teaching, and caring for children. I know this isn’t an option for everyone, or an appealing idea for everyone, but I am so thankful for the choices I made. Teaching for eight years really gave me insight on how to train children well, gave me experience to read and understand them better, and taught me how to teach better. I know every parent wants the best for their child, and one of the goals of my blog is to try to share my “insider experience” as a teacher with my parent friends so they can benefit from the experience that I’ve gained over these years.
When I sit and think about what kind of information I’d like to share with you, I often find myself thinking of my colleagues and other teacher friends. I wonder what they would want to share with other teachers and parents if they had a platform to speak up and share on. Sometimes when I write, I wonder what Hanna would think of my post, or how Ann-Marie might respond, or if Rachel would have any input. I wonder what they would say if they had a blog, and what kind of topics they would find worth sharing.
…So I asked them!
And you know what? They have things to say, yes they do. Most teachers don’t teach just because they need a job. They teach because they are passionate about children and learning and growth. They teach because they are compassionate people and want to make the world a better place. So I have invited some of my respected teacher friends to share something they are passionate about. The topics vary greatly, from special needs issues to technology to everyday parenting. I find them all fascinating, and think you will, too!
“How did you know that he was The One?”
I was 20 when I got engaged, and got this question from my college peers on a regular basis. Few people my age had marriage on the mind, and yet here I was, finishing up my senior year with a ring on it, a thesis to write, and a wedding to plan by the end of the school year.
I was never planning or hoping to be one of those ultra conservative, marry-young types. But when the right guy came along and asked the right question at the right time, it just made complete sense. It was one of the best decisions of my life.
When he first asked me to date him, I didn’t see it coming. Friends who knew us well didn’t see it coming. I don’t think he even saw it coming until it was there. Sometimes, that’s just how it is when you walk by faith. But when it was here, it was right, and we were both certain of it.
I’m not sure how he knew I was the one. He’s a man of faith and prayer, and I know the Lord just revealed it to him and made it clear in a way that only Ben could really understand. My journey was a little more complicated, but it came down to one thing in the end: respect.
Our friendship had started long before our romance ever did. He was my brother’s friend from camp; a senior I had often heard other girls giggling about in the cabins, memorably referred to as “eye candy.” So when my older brother introduced me to his cabin mate- this cute, older guy who exuded kpop coolness, it was all I could do to act like I had never heard of him before. That was when I was 13.
There’s a reason these pumpkin pancakes have 2k fans on allrecipes.com. A very good reason. Even though I just posted a recipe for whole wheat blueberry pancakes, these are actually my favorite type of pancakes to make! And really, when the leaves start turning color and there’s a chill in the air, nothing beats starting your morning with pumpkin pancakes and a foamy mug of hot cocoa (my favorite recipes here and here (salted caramel))! Not that we’re getting much of a chill in California these days, but you know. Back in the day when there were cool October mornings… *nostalgic sigh*
Don’t fret if you don’t have all the spices on hand. I rarely have allspice around, and just up my cinnamon a little and call it a day.
Two things I always crave these days: pizza and pancakes.
I am annoyed that DoorDash doesn’t deliver the pizza I like, but the pancakes? Those I can take care of myself! Last week I was all about pumpkin pancakes, and this week, I’ve moved onto blueberry pancakes. This is mostly because we ran out of canned pumpkin and I had frozen blueberries in the freezer already.
Because I like to put all my frequently-used recipes on my blog for easy access, I am now adding this one! I’ve got it memorized for the moment because I made it three days in a row, but in case I ever get past this obsession and forget the proportions, I can now find it here. They feel healthyish (whole wheat!), take 5 minutes to mix together, and taste great! Enjoy!
Encourage open-ended play and fun with these simple craft sticks and some velcro! I made these for one of my daughter’s busy boxes and I’m pretty sure that as she gets older, she’ll enjoy creating all sorts of fun shapes from it. In addition to simply playing with it, I already have some geometry lessons planned, from teaching basic shapes to regular shapes to congruent shapes to understanding the nuances between the different types of quadrilaterals… all using these sticks! Okay, that may be a few years out, but exploring through play at this early age can only help!
They are great for exploring polygons, enjoying color, and working on fine motor skills with the sticking and un-sticking. Even my husband got into it for a little while, and I’m sure visiting friends will get a kick out of building shapes with these fun little sticks (kind of how they love to find new ways to play with this
It’s been three years now, and it’s still hard for me. It’s hard for me to go back there. It’s hard for me to remember and relive that pain, and it’s hard for me to think about the daughter I have now and wonder if I will even get to keep her for as long as I want.
We never even got to hold her ashes. When I called the funeral home, to ask about them, they said they had already scattered them. Apparently there had been a mix-up with our request, so they went ahead and did that without us even knowing. They gave me the coordinates of where they had sprinkled her ashes. In the ocean. Hers, and several other babies’.
And just like that, she was gone.
My mind was blank. To this day, I still don’t know what to do with this information. Would we drive to the closest point on the coast each year and try to imagine something we were never a part of? Would we take a boat out to a specific spot and think of how her remains are now far, far away from this spot?
Instead, I’ve decided that every time I touch the ocean, there’s a little bit of her there, somewhere. I draw a heart into the sand, and the water washes it away into the vast greatness that holds her remains.
It never felt like enough, but I didn’t know what else to do.
We planted a tree in her memory in our side yard, which you can see from our dining table. It’s called the Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow tree, because the blooms come out a vibrant purple, then fade to lavender the next day, and then turn white the next day. My dad picked it out, and the symbolism of her fleeting moments with us is not lost on us. Every year it has bloomed beautifully for a few weeks, the purple, lavender, and white flowers budding, full of life. But most of the year, it is bare and empty, a reminder of the little girl we do not have anymore.
I read something on Momastary about One Good Thing, a tradition where parents invite their friends to do one good thing that day in honor of the child they have lost.
I liked it. I like the idea that we still remember, but we redeem that terrible tragedy and allow good to pour forth. What a beautiful way to remember and honor a child’s life. At first I felt like it was too late for us to start a tradition like this… after all, we’ve already missed the last three years. But that’s silly. It’s never too late to start A Good Thing.
We still love you, and we still remember you. We remember you when we hold your little sister desperately tight in our arms, and when we see your tree in bloom. We remember you in our pictures, and in the mementos of you in our home. We remember you when we see the great, vast ocean:
Your love is deeper than any oceans
Higher than the Heavens
Reaches beyond the stars in the sky
–Kutless
I think of how that ocean represents His love and His grace, and how you are now melded into that Love and Grace. And I relish in the knowledge that it’s not just symbolic- it’s true; you’re there with our Creator now, and you know that Love and Grace better than I ever will in this lifetime. Blessed Joy.
I hope we can remember you in joy and happiness by encouraging others to honor your life by doing One Good Thing.
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Dear Readers,
It would mean so much to me if you took a moment today to do one good thing. Whether it is holding the door for someone or donating to a charity, it would be a special way of remembering and honoring the life of our first daughter. Thank you for allowing me to share this part of my life with you.
JoEllen
When my daughter was just a newborn, she hated having her poopy diapers changed. I would catch a whiff of her diaper and gently place her on the changing table. When she realized what was coming, she would make a fuss and scream bloody murder. As I went through the routine process of changing her diaper, placing a fresh diaper underneath, wiping her clean, and removing the mess, she screamed and kicked the whole time like it was torture.
I don’t know, maybe she liked the comfort of the mess that she had been sitting in. Maybe she had just gotten used to it. Maybe the feel of the cold wet cloth was uncomfortable on her warm skin. Maybe she just didn’t like being naked and exposed, the way a baby inevitably is when undergoing a diaper change.
As much as I knew she hated it, I kept on doing it: “Sweetie, I know you don’t like this, but it’s good for you. If I just leave it, you’ll get a diaper rash and it will be messy and bad for you. I can’t just let you sit in your mess. I’m going to help you clean it up and then you will feel so much better! Trust me!”
And even though she kicked and screamed, I made her endure this torture because it was good for her. Over time, I think she began to realize it was a good process with good results. She began to trust me more. As I continued to change her diapers, she eventually protested less and less. This was great. Not only was she less miserable about the whole thing, but it made it easier and faster for both of us! Before, she would flail her legs and sometimes squish them into her poop, which made everything more difficult and unpleasant and messy. As time passed, she learned to trust me more and calm down and cooperate. This made the cleanup process much easier and much faster. It was more pleasant for both of us… especially her.
Soon we got to the point where she was calm and still during changes, and eventually she was even helpful, shifting and moving to help me through this routine process of cleaning out her stuff.
As I repeated to her my gentle words of assurance- this is good for you, trust me, it will be even more miserable if we leave it- I couldn’t help but reflect on how babyish we can be with God sometimes.
Like a baby, we all find ourselves stewing in our mess at some point. We have some sinful attitude or behavior and it’s time to get rid of it. If we keep it around, it just makes things worse. Sin rash, if you will. But the cleaning process is no fun and sometimes is straight up miserable. As younger Christians, the process of exposing yourself and wiping up your “mess” is extremely foreign and contrary to our nature, which just wants to stay in the warmth and comfort of what we know. But then we’d be like a baby sitting in his own mess.
The Lord is gracious enough to help us clean up our messes, and we have a choice to make each time. We can fight it and make it a miserable and painful ordeal, kicking and screaming the whole time. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO MEEEEEEE I HATE THIS.
Or we can calmly undergo the cleaning process and reset until the next round.
It doesn’t have to be torturous.
Of course the second route sounds easier. But like babies, sometimes it takes a few rounds of cleaning to realize this and really learn to trust the process and be confident of the outcome. Mature, seasoned Christians recognize sin in themselves more quickly and also are ready to face it and try to work it out more eagerly. They’ve done it before and they know from experience that as painful and uncomfortable as the process can be, it’s totally worth it and good. This cleaning process (aka sanctification) becomes less torturous and more refreshing as experience teaches you that God really does do this for your own good, and that he’s not just trying to force misery and discomfort on you.
As you learn to fight less and instead submit to Him and his will, it becomes easier each time. The very concept of submission is counter cultural and distasteful to many, but is key to joy in God’s kingdom. After all, the Bible reminds us not to “conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2). King David reminds us that it is a delight to do God’s will, and your own life testimony should reveal that the times we consciously chose God’s way over ours always resulted in more joy.
He never promises that it’s easy, but he promises that it’s good. Of course, then there’s potty training. That’s a whole nother mess.
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