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September 24, 2014

Random quick teacher tip: How to Stop an Interrupting Clown. An interrupting class clown, that is. Especially one that is clownin’ on other kids. That’s not nice.

Sometimes I’ll have a student who likes to joke around in class. That’s cool. Except when it’s mean, or when it’s inappropriately disrupting a lesson. Sure, as a first step, I will directly address the student’s inappropriate behavior. But if that’s not enough to stop it, I also pair it with a subtle second step: I give the rest of the class a warning look. A cocked head, a slow blink, and a raised eyebrow that says, What, you think that’s funny? Really? Are you gonna laugh about it? Are you?

how to stop inappropriate clowning

It slices laughter in an instant.

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August 30, 2014

How to get kids to start homework on their ownWouldn’t it be nice if your child came home from school, and then started on their homework in a timely manner… without you having to remind them? With the start of the new school year, this is the perfect time for some tips on how to train your kids to be more responsible and independent, whether that means they regularly:

Basically, the goal is to build a habit/routine in your child that doesn’t require you to get on their case about it. Sounds nice, right? Here is my guide on how to train your children to develop that independence!

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August 17, 2014

re it.If you lead a group of kids anywhere, they usually walk in clumps. This is fine if we’re trekking about on a field trip or headed out to the playground, but when we need to go from point A to point B in an efficient, orderly way, we need lines.

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July 22, 2014

Another system of consequences 1

I’m a firm believer in consequences. Children should know that certain undesirable behaviors will result in consequences, and well, you can read my detailed thoughts on that topic here.

Have you read that post? Because if you have, then you’ll probably agree with me that it’s pretty long, and not the easiest thing to implement. I really do believe it can be extremely effective, but it takes a thoughtful plan and a lot of consistency, and I’ll be the first to admit that consistency can be hard!

Maybe you’ve been with me for a while and you read that post back in May, and now it’s July, and you’re thinking, “Oh man. I totally meant to try it, but… well, the end of the school year came… and graduations… and summer camps… and Grandma’s… and vacation and… ah what summer is half over?! It takes too much planning and now it’s too late…”

No, no, my friend. It is not too late.

Maybe that was too big of a project and you weren’t ready to commit to something so involved. Okay, no problem. I am still all for the cause of parents training their children up, so I have an easier alternative for you. It is still very effective (I wouldn’t share it otherwise!), and I’m honestly not sure why I didn’t share it with you sooner. Maybe because that post was already 23 pages (…size 12. Times New Roman font. Without the pictures. Yeahforreal.).

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June 5, 2014

How to Shape Childrens Behavior
Several years ago, I was asked to give a talk to Sunday School teachers at church on how to discipline children. My first thought was that I didn’t want to talk about disciplining children. Disciplining children implies that they’re misbehaving, but misbehaviors can be caused by a lot of things, not the least of which is the teacher’s inability to teach well. (I’m pretty sure I could talk for hours on that topic alone, but I’ll save it for another time.) Sure, every child has their weak moments, but there is a whole lot that a teacher can do to help students compose themselves respectfully and responsibly.

I find that the smoothest path involves anticipating and preventing misbehavior in the first place. If that ship has sailed, though, this is the next one you want to get on. Sometimes children come in with certain habits and behaviors and you need to proactively help them to work them out. Maybe it’s a girl who throws a tantrum every time something doesn’t go her way, or a child who has a habit of talking back. Perhaps it’s a small but persistent matter, such as getting a boy to tuck in his chair or keep his desk area tidy.

As a teacher, it can mean training your entire class to execute various procedures well, such as walking to and from the carpet area quickly, quietly, and ready to focus as soon as the transition is complete. I’ve worked with children on all of these and more, and have found that our success generally depended on my consistent execution of a few key skills. Yes, my execution. It’s not completely up to the child to improve himself. You can’t just tell a kid to “be better” or “stop doing that” and always expect her to know how to do it. You need to actively work with them to shape their behavior and help them grow as individuals.

In a series of posts, I have shared some of my experiences in shaping children’s behavior. Big or small, whole class or individual, there were a few key patterns that began to emerge in my behavior-shaping process. I constantly fine-tuned it over the years, and grew increasingly confident of my ability to effect positive change in children.

True, I have not actually shaped the behavior of my own children yet, but I really think that all these years as a teacher have given me a leg up to that end. Actually, one of the biggest reasons I wanted to be a teacher was to garner experience and wisdom from my career in order to enhance my effectiveness as a parent. So here’s a glimpse of what I have learned, for all you parents out there who didn’t get to spend eight years working with hundreds of kids before having your own. I hope to share some of the highlights of what I’ve learned over the years with you so that it may benefit you as you parent and teach children.

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May 24, 2014

This post is part of my series on How to Shape Children’s Behavior.be consistently consistent 2Over the course of the last eight years, I’ve learned a lot about teaching. One thing I know for sure is that if you don’t have students’ behavior in check, you cannot teach as effectively. Children thrive in an environment where they know where the boundaries are and are able to respect them. Some kids need more help developing this ability than others. That’s where we come in.

Hopefully you’ve had a chance to read some of my other posts on setting clear expectations and laying out a graduated system of consequences. Now it’s time to follow through with these new behavioral structures. The beginning is probably the most formative time as your child feels out just how serious you are about holding them to your stated expectations and following through with the stated consequences.

It’s likely that you will soon experience the first few pokes and pushes as they subconsciously explore the new system(s) you’ve set up. This beginning period is definitely one of the most important times to consistently reinforce the boundaries with the consequences you have set forth. However, all your work will be for naught if you don’t continually show that the boundaries are still where you said they were—day after day, week after week, month after month. I know this all too well, because I watched all of my behavioral structures collapse again and again when I first started teaching. 

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May 7, 2014

This post is part of my series on How to Shape Children’s Behavior.

This post is long. I thought about splitting it into three parts, but each section builds on and relies on the rest, so I decided to keep them all together. Thanks for reading!

The other day, a parent asked me for advice on appropriate punishments for their child’s misbehaviors. I don’t think he was thinking too hard about word choice, but it’s a single word that can make a big difference.The way we think about consequences versus punishments has huge implications for how we parent and raise our children. Any person who cares for children needs to know this: every parent, every teacher, every daycare provider.

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April 21, 2014

This post is part of my series on How to Shape Children’s Behavior.

Rewards and BehaviorWhen I was in teacher school, I remember someone telling us that it’s best if students are intrinsically motivated do things. The idea was that children should just naturally want to improve for the sake of improving or gaining mastery, and that they should not require external forces or rewards to motivate them. We were even told that, as teachers, we should avoid phrases like, “I really like how Eric is sitting quietly,” or “Thank you, class, for beginning your work right away.” If we phrased things like that, students might start behaving well to please you, the teacher.

Oh dear.

Honestly, I never really figured out how to tap into the intrinsically-motivated angel in every child. True, most students entered my class with a strong personal desire to do their best and try hard at everything, from academics to behavior. Every year, though, I’ve had at least a couple of children who would probably rather eat dirt than write a paragraph, or who would wreak havoc at recess if there were no consequences. When attempts to appeal to the self-motivated child within failed, I resorted to the next best thing I could think of: offering rewards. I’m not gonna lie, it works like a charm.

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April 3, 2014

This post is part of my series on How to Shape Children’s Behavior.

Prevention

I believe that children want to be good. I think even the most challenging children wish, in their core, that they could behave well. I imagine it’s not dissimilar to the way adults want to be more disciplined about exercise, eat a generally balanced diet, or get their finances in order. It would be nice, but sometimes we just can’t seem to keep it up. Breaking poor habits is one of the first of many difficult steps in forming better ones. Wouldn’t it would be much easier if we could just go find our younger selves and keep poor habits from forming in the first place? Until time machines work, then, let’s do our children a favor and help them build good habits before the bad ones begin. This, of course, is also known as prevention. Today, I hope to share with you some reasons why you should be proactive about anticipating and preventing misbehaviors, and how you can more effectively do so.

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